As you know by now, I love that I’ve been able to learn about new cultures and traditions through my work as a wedding photographer. This week I want to share with you some traditions from the Persian, or Iranian, community. These traditions go back to Zoroastrianism, a religion of pre-Islamic Iran that dates back to the 5th Century BCE. What’s really impressive is that the actual ceremony has stayed more or less the same as they were in Ancient Iran and the same traditions are observed across the many ethnicities and denominations present in this culture.

As in many cultures, preparation for a Persian wedding happens long before the actual ceremony. Khastegāri, or courtship, is the first step of the traditional engagement process where a man and woman start courting each other. Once this begins, representatives of the groom's family visit the bride's family so the two sides can become acquainted. The groom's family often brings flowers and the women provide tea, fruits and sweets. The families will keep meeting and once, they see the relationship is serious, they will permit the marriage. In modern-day Iran, the Khastegari is a one-time formality where the families meet and the parents can give their thoughts on the engagement. Shortly after the families agree to the marriage and it’s terms comes the Baleh Borān, where the couple publicly announces their engagement. The groom’s family gives the bride a gift, usually a ring, to convince her further that she should accept the proposal. Next, the Nāmzadi ceremony, or formal engagement celebration, is held as early as a year before the wedding and takes place at the bride's home. The couple and their families start to make the wedding arrangements and decide on the Mehr/Mehrieh, or “gift of love”. The bride and groom exchange rings at this ceremony. The Namazdi ceremony is followed by the Shirin Khorān, where guests eat Iranian desserts such as bāmiyeh (light doughnut balls), Nān-e berenji (rice flour cookies), chocolates, ājil (nuts and dried fruit) to wish the couple “sweetness” in their future together. Later on, a few days before the wedding, the two families partake in the Jahāz Barān, or Tabaq Barān, ceremony. The bride's family sends presents to the groom's house where the men from the groom's family dress up in festive, traditional garments and carry the presents to the bride on elaborately, large flat containers, called tabaq, on their heads.

The bride and all the female family members start getting ready for the official ceremony a day before it takes place, with the Hana Bandān. This is where dry henna, provided by the groom’s family, is broken into pieces in a silver or copper container by a woman whose parents are alive and still happily married to each other. The bride has a veil ornamented with red flake placed over her head, and the women circle around her singing hymn and folk songs about henna. A woman with a happy marriage kneads the henna with water, then carries it in on a tray with candles and places it in the middle of the room. Depending on the circumstances, the bride can either receive the henna first before the other guests or last after all the guests leave. Henna is usually placed on the hands, put can be put on the bride’s hair or feet as well if she chooses. Before the henna is applied, coins or gold are placed in the bride’s hands The same woman who kneaded the henna places it on one of the bride's hands, and a young girl places it on the other. A close friend of the bride remains with her after the ceremony until morning.

The ceremony is ripe with rich symbolism from the very beginnings of this culture. The groom sits on a stool at the end of the sofreyé aghd, or “wedding table” filled with objects to remind the couple of their faith and commitment to each other. He faces the guests with a mirror facing him so he can see his reflection and two lit candlesticks, representing the eternal passion the bride and groom share. The bride walks down the aisle accompanied by her mother and father, and sits to the left of the groom. The couple sits beneath one canopy or shawl, held up by a few unmarried female family members, so they are united under one roof. The ceremony officiant, almost always an older male, begins reading verses from the Quran. In modern, nonsecular weddings, official documents are often signed before the ceremony with the officiant, who is not necessarily a religious figure, as witness and poetry is read in place of verses from the Quran. While the officiant is talking, happily married women take turns, with family members going first, rubbing sugar cones together above the canopy to add sweetness to the couple’s marriage. The sugar granules sprinkle onto the canopy, signifying showering the couple in sweetness. At this point in the ceremony, the officiant asks the groom if he consents to marry the bride, to which the groom replies ‘balé’, or yes. Next, he asks the bride and, all in good fun as a joke, she remains silent, with the guests yelling out excuses for her, until the officiant asks a third time, and this time the bride consents. The audience claps and yells a traditional sound of praise. The groom lifts the bride’s veil and sees her for the first time in the mirror, which signifies eternity, and they are seeing the reflection of their life together in eternity. The groom then picks up a jar of honey (asal) from the wedding table, dips his little finger into the jar of honey, and feeds it to the bride and then vice versa, to symbolize that they will feed each other sweetness and sustenance throughout their lives together. Now officially wed, their immediate family members rush to kiss them on the cheeks and throw gold (talā) jewelry to them. After the immediate family has congratulated the couple, the rest of the guests of the ceremony come up one by one to congratulate the couple. The bride and groom walk back down the aisle while music plays and the guests throw more gold coins and flower petals at them. Then, they are ready to party at the reception!

The celebration continues long after the official ceremony with the Pātakhti, which is a reception held after the wedding. Flowers are a big theme here, as the groom’s family decorates the venue with flowers and the bride typically wears a floral print. One of the many fun activities is the cake knife dance, known as Raghseh Chagoo, which is a Persian wedding tradition that begins the cake cutting. When the bride and groom are ready to cut the cake, they have to earn the knife. A female family member or friend will begin to dance with the knife (most typically to Persian music.) The couple must offer money to the dancing friend in exchange for the knife. The dancer may act coy and take the money, only to give the knife to another woman to continue the knife dance. This will continue until one of the dancers decide that they have been won over by the given money and will give the bride and groom their cake knife in exchange.Before the bride and groom cut the cake, the guests take part in what’s known as “the knife dance”. The relatives of the bride and the groom bring them presents during the reception as well. Traditional Persian weddings can have over 400 guests so the reception is less formal and more like a party where guests can dance the night away! The Mādarzan Salām, which literally means “hello mother in law” is generally the morning after the wedding ceremony when groom brings a gift to his mother in law. This sets up what could be several weeks of Pagoshā, which translates to “open arms”. It is a ceremony where the newlywed couple goes to the house of their relatives to accept Runamā, which is the name of the gift that’s usually given to the bride and groom to celebrate them as "a family". This can be an exhausting process for Iranians, who typically have large families, meaning they’ll have many “pagoshās” to attend. The couple then goes on their honeymoon, or Mah-e Asal.

As with the many cultures i’ve seen, these traditions are all tied to the love the couple has for each other. It is always such an honor to be a part of their special day and get a glimpse into these beautiful and meaningful traditions.

Thanks again for coming to my blog,

David

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